If you were curious about what's all that bitching I do about pain, herein is the full list of issues I have, starting from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, and everything in between.
Head: Migraines suffering from them since the early 1990s. Actually been hospitalized thrice for them.
Neck: Herniations nr. C4/C5 sustained when I was rear-ended by an 18 wheeler in 1999.
Shoulders: "Rib head" pops out of place. REGULARLY.
Low spine: Diminished disk space L5/S1 (though hip dysplasia and or degenerative disc disease/disorder runs in my family).
Left hand: Dominant hand. Carpal tunnel. Mild-to-moderate case. Some days my hand is so spastic I cannot sign my own name without stopping three times because the way I write my name pinches the nerves in the wrist and elbow. Problematic since doing excessive, now-needlessly obsolete stenography drills in secretarial school in the mid-1990s.
Low abdomen: A "mild" case of adenomyosis, which is kind of like garden variety endometriosis... IF IT WERE ON METH, CRACK, AND ACID. Diagnosed officially in February of this year, and it's getting progressively more painful and uncontainable each successive month. Searing, agonizing pain that is isolated in the region between my navel and my kneecaps, ranging from a dull throb, to a persistent agonizing pulsation of hot lava like HURT deep in my marrow. As a result of this, I am now considering a medical procedure to manage the physical pain; however, it will then officially put the kabosh on the entire notion of me having a child of my own. I'm 44. I'm just not up to the challenge and thanklessness of motherhood. EOS.
Low abdomen: "Impactions."
Right Hip: "Hip Pointer." WTF Been problematic since a forced road march with a 40 lb pack in basic training.
Knees (both): Dx: the LCL's were compromised in two falls, one in winter 2009, one in spring 2010. Though to be honest, the pain is deep in there where most anatomical charts would indicate the meniscus.
Feet (both): Heel spurs, plantar fasciitis, corns, and the newest addition to the Pain Chronicles Litany: My big toes are not level with the rest of the bones/toes (actually is lower than the rest), thus causing my feet to cantilever like a see-saw in my shoes (thus causing the corns; and is contributing to my overall balance issues).
The fact that I take about 4-5 vicodin a month, I would say is judicious given the aforementioned.
And yanno what? In a very sick twisted way, I'm glad for these burdens. I see some of the truly life threatening, persistently miserable things that other folks are enduring in their lives, and I am thankful that at a minimum my issues are being managed, and it's only about 1/3 of each month that is directly impacted by the assortment of burdens I have, which at times feels like I'm being Karmic-ly double or triple teamed.
Dear inventor of hydrocodone: You are a saint!
Signed,
Me
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