The day after I uttered, "Hey, I might be feeling better. I'm walking better. My hip bursitis feels like it's improving," I injured myself while out of the country, rendering me into a wheelchair for a full week, hobbling along to work with the Maharajah dropping me off every day, and me pretty much doing a whole lotta-nada.
We went away again (I know how very lucky I am to be living this kind of life), and Monday was another one of my patented, "trifecta" days where I have up to 3 (or sometimes more) appointments scheduled. All are medical in nature, and all are follow up visits, hopefully helping me achieve my goals of lowering my bp, improving my pain or mobility, and improving my sleep quality--which, will hopefully improve my overall sense of well being.
First appointment was a set back. It was with my kidney guy, who I see 2x annually, who is monitoring and treating my hypertension. Despite my improved numbers ELSEWHERE (pain doc, rheumatologist, even Sam's Club pharmacy!), my numbers refuse to budge at the kidney guy. The time has come for me to take yet another medication, to try to battle yet another invisible dragon--my bp. I've been given a beta blocker to work along with my pre-existing ACE-i and aldactazide. It's a lot.
I view this as a set back, as I've always measured my progress or success after my bypass by things OTHER than my weight: blood chemistry, how many medications I'm taking, as well as resolved medical issues I used to have. Before my bypass I was on 6-7 meds, which I managed to reduce to 2. Now it's 3. And I'm not happy.
Additionally, the beta blocker works with the sympathetic nervous system--and if I'm right, that means the medication might help my anxiety--which I now translate to me doing the very thing I did NOT want, to go on an anti-anxiety medication--as I do not want to take medication just to manage going to a shitty job where I am neither fulfilled nor my efforts acknowledged. So I'm disappointed that all my tweaking with Taurine and N-acetylcysteine did not pan out the way I hoped at his office. I suspect I have white coat syndrome. That aside, we're going to try out the new medication for a month.
This all is a huge hassle, as it involves me searching out interactions for every single supplement I currently take, and involves me jockeying around when I take my current Rxs. And then there's the issue of quality of life--leg swelling? Dry mouth? Am I going to be able to have a cocktail if I want?
Okay--yeah, I know. It'll help minimize risks for stroke. It'll also help me minimize my risks for left ventricle hypertrophy.
Doesn't mean I have to like it.
Second appointment was with my foot doc--and of course I injured myself in the interim between my last appointment and this one. So it was good to see her, get MORE xrays, get a proper air cast to stabilize the ankle further, and get yet another diagnosis: "ankle impingement." I've got spare bones in my feet, and apparently when I hyperflexed my foot during my injury, my spare bones bruised the soft tissue deep in the posterior of my ankle. FUN.
Third appointment was with the ENT to follow up on my CPAP compliance. Seemed straight forward. And I am getting some benefit out of it, albeit my snoring has reduced when I use it--though I have yet to feel any improvement as far as feeling refreshed.
All in all these are necessary appointments, which I view as tools to help me achieve all of my goals.
Here it is, the middle of June, and I *DID* have hope (and the GOAL) of getting myself out of my shitty job, but I'm working on that, too. I know that my mood and stress will change for the better once I am out of here. I just have to be patient and also employ some effective goal setting.
My CBT homework is to start some lists, of what I want, what type of job, what type of workplace, and of course start researching different job requirements, and computer certification courses.
Last night was CBT. Tonight is acupuncture. Tomorrow is a dental appointment before work and chiropractic after work.
All this could be overwhelming, I guess. I have everything so organized, I'm pretty much operating on muscle memory and forward momentum.
Surely something's gotta give, right?
We went away again (I know how very lucky I am to be living this kind of life), and Monday was another one of my patented, "trifecta" days where I have up to 3 (or sometimes more) appointments scheduled. All are medical in nature, and all are follow up visits, hopefully helping me achieve my goals of lowering my bp, improving my pain or mobility, and improving my sleep quality--which, will hopefully improve my overall sense of well being.
First appointment was a set back. It was with my kidney guy, who I see 2x annually, who is monitoring and treating my hypertension. Despite my improved numbers ELSEWHERE (pain doc, rheumatologist, even Sam's Club pharmacy!), my numbers refuse to budge at the kidney guy. The time has come for me to take yet another medication, to try to battle yet another invisible dragon--my bp. I've been given a beta blocker to work along with my pre-existing ACE-i and aldactazide. It's a lot.
I view this as a set back, as I've always measured my progress or success after my bypass by things OTHER than my weight: blood chemistry, how many medications I'm taking, as well as resolved medical issues I used to have. Before my bypass I was on 6-7 meds, which I managed to reduce to 2. Now it's 3. And I'm not happy.
Additionally, the beta blocker works with the sympathetic nervous system--and if I'm right, that means the medication might help my anxiety--which I now translate to me doing the very thing I did NOT want, to go on an anti-anxiety medication--as I do not want to take medication just to manage going to a shitty job where I am neither fulfilled nor my efforts acknowledged. So I'm disappointed that all my tweaking with Taurine and N-acetylcysteine did not pan out the way I hoped at his office. I suspect I have white coat syndrome. That aside, we're going to try out the new medication for a month.
This all is a huge hassle, as it involves me searching out interactions for every single supplement I currently take, and involves me jockeying around when I take my current Rxs. And then there's the issue of quality of life--leg swelling? Dry mouth? Am I going to be able to have a cocktail if I want?
Okay--yeah, I know. It'll help minimize risks for stroke. It'll also help me minimize my risks for left ventricle hypertrophy.
Doesn't mean I have to like it.
Second appointment was with my foot doc--and of course I injured myself in the interim between my last appointment and this one. So it was good to see her, get MORE xrays, get a proper air cast to stabilize the ankle further, and get yet another diagnosis: "ankle impingement." I've got spare bones in my feet, and apparently when I hyperflexed my foot during my injury, my spare bones bruised the soft tissue deep in the posterior of my ankle. FUN.
Third appointment was with the ENT to follow up on my CPAP compliance. Seemed straight forward. And I am getting some benefit out of it, albeit my snoring has reduced when I use it--though I have yet to feel any improvement as far as feeling refreshed.
All in all these are necessary appointments, which I view as tools to help me achieve all of my goals.
Here it is, the middle of June, and I *DID* have hope (and the GOAL) of getting myself out of my shitty job, but I'm working on that, too. I know that my mood and stress will change for the better once I am out of here. I just have to be patient and also employ some effective goal setting.
My CBT homework is to start some lists, of what I want, what type of job, what type of workplace, and of course start researching different job requirements, and computer certification courses.
Last night was CBT. Tonight is acupuncture. Tomorrow is a dental appointment before work and chiropractic after work.
All this could be overwhelming, I guess. I have everything so organized, I'm pretty much operating on muscle memory and forward momentum.
Surely something's gotta give, right?
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