I Hate People

Yes. I do. However, I do see myself trapped by that statement, as I am, obviously, a PERSON. To clarify, I hate people who are lazier and/or STUPIDER (yes, STUPIDER, to drive home how very STUPID these folks are) than I am. And yes. I'm lazy and stupid, but we're talking DEGREES of laziness and stupidity, and perspective, and perhaps self awareness. I know (to certain degrees) I am stupid and lazy; whereas there are some folks who tool along WHOLESALE UNAWARE that they are stupid and lazy.  And to those folks, I say, "FUCK YOU, ROYALLY. SERIOUSLY AND SIDEWAYS."

How might the statement "I hate people" apply to the "Wild Goose Chase Du Jour," aka, the granuloma discovered in my lung, you might ask?   Here goes.

I call my pulmonologist's office to schedule a consultation to check out my granuloma because I am having surgical procedures 7/23. I very clearly stated this, as DUH, I am not going to a pulmonologist FOR FUCKING FUN. I wanted to schedule an appt w/Dr. V, yet he's unavailable. So they schedule an appt w/Dr. L. Brilliant. So I contact my surgeon's office to see about getting the chest xray results faxed to Dr. L., only for me to do a quick GOOGLE NOW, and realize HOLY SHIT, Dr. L., isn't even a mother fucking pulmonologist.

Luckily I have nearly a full month until my surgery, and I'm very glad that I got my anesthesia consult done as early as I did, because what if I waited two more weeks, then I'd be spending the two weeks before my surgery running around, getting agitated and exasperated. I truly do hate people with the stupids.

I call back and was not even polite about it. I railed into whomever it was who answered the phone, and REITERATE I called to schedule an appointment w/Dr. V., who is a pulmonologist. I very clearly stated I needed to be cleared by a PULMONOLOGIST for my surgery, and yet, the dimwit scheduled an appt with an internist. Well, fuck-me-running, I already have TWO VERY fabulous internists I already see, so why would I want an appointment with some third internist, when that's not what I even effing need?

I'm not even apologetic at this point. I'm annoyed because as a result of their stupidity, I'm now enduring second party stupidity by annoying the surgical liasion at the surgeon's office with emails regarding extraneous shit. 

Best part of this story? The payoff? The doctor's first name?

DIMPLE.

How can I stay angry after reading that as a first name?