So yeah. About that proverbial "other shoe?" Yeah. It dropped.
It was premature to say "no new dramas" in the previous post. Monday night I got the call from the gastroenterologist regarding the possibility for a colonoscopy before year end, and on Tuesday I got an email from my nephrologist that my protein is high in my urine and he might want to biopsy my kidneys. So ix-nay on the o-nay ew-nay amas-dray.
I follow up with my gastroenterologist in a week or two, and when I do I'll spitball an idea to him about possibly having him coordinate with the nephrologist, as well as the NP at the bariatric surgeon's office, and see if I can get an upper and lower abdominal CAT with contrast done, rather than go through the renal biopsy and colonoscopy. I can hope, can't I?
Had a good session with my therapist today about everything, and even against my initial reluctance to do so, discussed what happened with the sociopath. How I handled everything seems to be an improvement over how things like this would destroy me for days or weeks (or months) after. It made me appreciate that I *do* in fact have some pretty wonderful friends.
Intentional cruelty is a trigger point for me, and one from which there is no turning back. Once that line has been crossed, I'm done. I go into insulation mode, and do the fade to black, distancing myself until that person is in obscurity. Only in this case, it was a full on verbal assault. No gradual fade. It was a verbal strafing, a strafing for which I am glad I have witnesses.
So rather than turn my anger inward towards myself, being angry that I was stupid or gullible or my judgement was dodgey to befriend someone who turned out to be someone capable of intentional cruelty, I reminded myself that THAT same judgement was also responsible for the cultivation of some pretty lovely, loyal friends. As I said to the therapist, it was all useful information. Unpleasant? Hell yes. But useful. He asked me how did I end things? I replied, "I took away his power. I stopped talking."
Honestly, I don't know how much of what transpired was really his doing or if it were all brought about by booze or drugs. At its core, I am sure, resides the nugget of truth. That he IS truly a cruel person, and the booze/drugs just exaggerate it. No apology, weak or strong, has been forthcoming, which also is useful information in and of itself.
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