Another Sociopath Bites The Dust

Dear friends of mine, IRL, who know me beyond my text on a computer screen, feel free to not read this, as it just reiterates some things you already know. The rest of you, feel free to read on.

I am not perfect. I have awareness to know who and what I am. I have a healthy enough ego to say this.

One of my main mantras or guides I've used in life has been: Say what I mean, mean what I say, and try not to be mean when I say it. Oftentimes, if I think that what I am about to say could potentially be hurtful, I remain mute.  I don't know if I'd be bold enough to say "It's the buddhist way, to try to diminish the suffering of myself or others," because well, I don't like labels, and so much of my way of being and philosophy straddles several belief systems. All I know is, ultimately, at my core, I neither want, nor  take any pleasure in, being cruel to others.

Granted, my journey to good health has been a long one, and has had its ups and downs, like everyone else's life has. It's not a special journey, but it's mine. And even if I might (INTERNALLY) judge someone else's journey or the choices they've made, I try to limit whatever negative comments I might have on the topic. THIS IS WHAT SEPARATES US FROM THE REST OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM: IMPULSE CONTROL.

So imagine my surprise when someone who is on their own journey back to health, back to mobility, back to some measure of independence, battling pain and their own demons, someone who puts themselves out there as an enlightened Buddhist, posts a comment so utterly callous and judgmental on my wall on FB, I simply could no longer remain mute.

In sum, this person suggested/alleged that I surely have up to three different phobias or mental illness, implied I am over sharing (when he's got videos on YouTube documenting a bed sore on his ass--wherein his testicles are on clear view, and another one video documenting a urinary catheter that is not emptying), and also implied that I'm imagining what I'm going through.

As he made the allegation publicly on my wall, I decided to respond publicly on his wall, in a thread wherein he's discussing "gaslighting" and sociopaths. I did not sugar coat anything. He doesn't get a free pass because he's a quadripeligic. I've kept quiet long enough out of respect for that. But he's shown his true colors to me to be just that, plain and simple, a sociopath. 

I summed it up: a sociopath goes out of their way with the intent to be cruel. If the intent isn't there, then you're just a carelessly cruel dillhole.  And so the shitstorm conflated, and burned out rather nicely.

My response to, "Hey you offended me" were met without self-examination and without even weak apology along the lines of, "Hey, I'm sorry that was not my intent," but was met with more cruelty. He called me a liar about something very trivial (alleged that I ever used the word psychiatrist to describe my therapist--who IS a psychotherapist, but is a LCSW, NOT a psychiatrist), then started attacking my friends (both on my wall, as well as the walls of friends whose privacy setting is set to public) with misogynistic ad hominems. Apparently my posting topics irritate him.

Not at any point in time did he privately message me, which he still has the ability to do so, if he were to decide to apologize (not that it matters at all at this point, the damage is done, and well, I AM DONE with him, as once trust is gone, it's very rare to ever truly re-establish it). Instead, his intent was to insult and attempt to humiliate me.

This online friendship started in October (of 2011) and so in October (2013) it shall end. I had the very best of intents when I reached out to him after seeing some of the videos documenting nursing home neglect; however, here it is two years later, and really no change in his status quo. So perhaps all the videos were a vanity project, or a way to ensnare otherwise good-intentioned folks into a trap wherein he could be an empathy vampire, sucking out the good intent, feasting on the good will and attention.

So what took two years to culvitate, ultimately, in the end, took roughly 24 hours to destroy. 

There's a Buddhist theme along the lines of "take that which is useful, and discard the rest." In the end, that was my only recourse. And thank you "dear," you made it an incredibly easy decision to make.  Have fun with the delusion, "dear."

ETA: For posterity,  a bunch of screen caps from FB to document the dipshittery. 

*I decided that since he decided to make allegations on my wall, publicly, so my friends could see it, I'd post my rebuttal on his wall so his friends could see it. To date (Jan 2014 now) there are no further updates since October, so I don't know if he's still posting, or if I'm just blocked from seeing current content. Not that it matters for my purposes. Here are the screencap rebuttals and ad hominems:

Also: In the end, I found it somewhat amusing, in a very pathetic LOL kinda sick way of laughing at someone's cluelessness, that Ralph had issues with my candor or my sharing, alluding that I might have been OVER sharing. Be that as it may, I may be the queen of TMI; however, one thing is abundantly clear: I have never photographed my ass and slapped it up on YouTube for all the world to see. 



Good times. 

Again. Good luck with the delusion, Ralph. And PS: You have emerged victorious in Pain Thunderdome.