Mindset: Fixed vs Growth

I wonder if it truly is possible to change my mindset from a fixed to a growth oriented mindset. I wish there were a magic spell someone could cast on me to fix this. 

While trapped in the fixed mindset, it is very easy to fall back on the fact I've been negatively programmed my entire life, by someone else who was also negatively programmed their entire life.  Feels like a cop out, but it's true.

The trap I'm in right now is illustrated thusly:

FIXED: “If I don’t try, I can protect yourself and keep my dignity.”
GROWTH: “If I don’t try, I automatically fail. Where’s the dignity in that?”

And my logic loops back to if I do try and fail, I still fail. 

I like certitudes. Life is too short to waste precious moments on uncertainty. I like to succeed. I do it so rarely. I've never been taught these necessary coping mechanisms:

1. How to succeed.
2. How to handle or manage failure.

FLAILING is like Failing with an extra L tossed in there for LOSER.

I flail because I fail.
I fail because I flail.