Neurologist is perhaps more vexxed than I when it comes to the topic of my pain. I've come to accept it, with a somewhat silent resignation that it will be an omnipresent... presence in my life.
He opened our discussion with revisiting the idea of Lyrica or Neurontin, both I nixed for their obvious side effects. For me, it's always been a matter of quality of life. That the quality of my life with the pain is better than the quality of my life on these pain meds, which end up having some pretty potent, unpleasant side effects.
I'm still suffering the effects of the last failed experiment of me trying out Cymbalta, which I went on with such hope of helping my pain and my anxiety/depression, only for me to be even worse off than before, and with a 7-10 lb weight gain, which I haven't managed to shed. (As if I weren't depressed enough, to begin with, right?)
So he circled back and said, "What about trying Topamax again?" Initially I bristled at the idea because, HELLO, I do not have a convulsive disorder and this is a medicine specifically for that! And I have tried it in the past, and had problems when the dose was titrated up, but remembered initially, the lower dose kept me blunted and I didn't give a shit, and I couldn't recall if it helped my migraines all that much. Though, looking around on PubMed, there is plenty of information in support of it for use for chronic low back pain which is another "star" in the constellation of pain issues I have--namely the spondylolisthesis I, and herniations and arthritis.
And well? I am also not-so-secretly hoping it helps with the pesky weight issue. I really want to continue making progress. I've been stalled for years. I want to continue moving forward.
So. Resigned with the paucity of choices for me, and placing full trust in my neurologist, I agreed to give Topamax a try one more time. A month should be a good enough time to see if there's merit. But then what? Do I stay on this for the rest of my life? I'm less than enthused at this idea.
Yesterday I saw my neuro-opthamologist for the optic nerve druzen. I get this monitored every couple of years, and he seemed concerned about my being on Topamax (of course! who WOULDN'T be upset about the idea?) and suggested I look into riboflavin (and another herbal supplement, which I cannot recall--perhaps feverfew?). So I am considering adding 400 mg of riboflavin to my daily intake. Not sure if I will shift other things around. My 3mg of boron is poised to be 86'd if need be. I am not 100% certain there is 100% merit in keeping it in the line up, though my reasons for having added it to the line up were (and continue to be) sound.
To date, I am about eight days deep into the Topamax, thereabouts. I take it in the evening, so the bulk of the mind scrambling wonderment happens after dinner. And I nod off. And pretty much by the time I wake up in the a.m. and get ready for work, I am in a cloud, but functional. Barely. And if I didn't have my husband around to get me out of bed, I honestly don't know how I'd be able to get going every day.
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