On Migraines

WASHINGTON (Reuters) Nov. 20 - People who get migraines have structural differences in their brains notably in the cortex area that processes pain and other sensory information from the body, scientists said on Monday.

The researchers, whose findings were published in the journal Neurology, said it is unclear whether these brain differences actually cause migraines or are themselves caused by these severe, recurrent headaches.

The researchers performed brain scans on 24 people who had a long history of frequent migraines - about four per month for 20 years - and 12 people who did not get migraines.
The somatosensory cortex - the area of the brain that detects sensations like pain, touch and temperature in various parts of the body - was 21 percent thicker in the people who got migraines compared to those who did not.

The biggest difference was in the part of the cortex responsible for processing sensory information from the head and face, Dr. Nouchine Hadjikhani of Massachusetts General Hospital, who led the study, said in a telephone interview.

Hadjikhani said the study illustrated the seriousness of the migraine. “It has to be taken seriously because it can induce changes in your brain,” she said.

Might be gettin' offa da dope

Been on "dope-a-max" since July.
August: Lost 6 lbs
November: Gained 4 lbs
No considerable weight loss IMHO to justify being on this for weight loss purposes.
The 24/7 lethargy is not a good trade off for the 1-2 debilitating migraines I was having per month.

When I see the neuro at the end of December, I'm going to consider getting off the junk.

I'm so ambivalent, I can hardly function.

Not so much ennui anymore, it's evolved into "Shititis." As in... I could give a shit-itis.

ReproEndo guy counselled me on Fatty Liver Syndrome and N.A.S.H. Trying to scare me straight to dump off the weight. Nutritionist... trainer... ya ya ya. I'm made of bucks, don'tchaknow.

I started taking spirulina tablets (on my own), and drinking a few glugs of a B-vitamin packed berry smoothie (non dairy) before leaving the house in the a.m., feebly attempting to get something natural in me.

The days I am "noncompliant" with the dopamax... I feel somewhat more human.

It's dragging me down, and I don't know how much more of this I can stand.

Aftermath of Today's Visit w/The Specialist

I've been diagnosed as having Fatty Liver Syndrome. This is nothing new.

Today, my "ReproEndoGuy" discussed N.A.S.H. with me.

Blessed be the Google Gods...

Nonalcoholic steatohepatitis or NASH is a common, often “silent” liver disease. It resembles alcoholic liver disease, but occurs in people who drink little or no alcohol. The major feature in NASH is fat in the liver, along with inflammation and damage. Most people with NASH feel well and are not aware that they have a liver problem. Nevertheless, NASH can be severe and can lead to cirrhosis, in which the liver is permanently damaged and scarred and no longer able to work properly.

NASH affects 2 to 5 percent of Americans. An additional 10 to 20 percent of Americans have fat in their liver, but no inflammation or liver damage, a condition called “fatty liver.” Although having fat in the liver is not normal, by itself it probably causes little harm or permanent damage. If fat is suspected based on blood test results or scans of the liver, this problem is called *nonalcoholic fatty liver disease *(NAFLD). If a liver biopsy is performed in this case, it will show that some people have NASH while others have simple fatty liver.

Both NASH and NAFLD are becoming more common, possibly because of the greater number of Americans with obesity. In the past 10 years, the rate of obesity has doubled in adults and tripled in children. Obesity also contributes to diabetes and high blood cholesterol, which can further complicate the health of someone with NASH. Diabetes and high blood cholesterol are also becoming more common among Americans.

Click here for more information.

On a personal note, we're watching some of my enzymes for a bit, and he's not sending me in for a liver biopsy--yet.

Downnote: I gained four pounds.

Upnote: blood pressure is down to 125/70. Fabulous for this fat-ass.

He did recommend getting a personal trainer (I'm a "governmental" worker--where will I have the funds for that?), and a nutritionist. One of the last visits I had, he suggested getting those Zone meals delivered to my home ($$$); and then another suggestion was a recommendation that I attempt to make an appointment with Dr. Stephen Gullo, author of The Thin Commandments.

If I thought the Zone meals being delivered would be cost prohibitive, the fee to see Dr. Gullo indeed was beyond what my wallet would allow (sorry, I can't see taking out a personal loan to justify going to a doctor for this--if I were to spend that much money, I might as well go in for the gastric bypass surgery, at least I would know with some level of certainty what the results of that would be). And even if I *had* the funds for such an endeavor, the waiting list to get in to see Dr. Gullo was something like 6-12 months. Sorry, this is my health--not some vanity trip I'm on.

I go back in February.

Mood: Ambivalent with not-so-fleeting sensation of failure & defeat.

A gf met me in the city after the visit with the specialist, and we went to Intimacy to get our bazongas properly sized (for years I have been wearing a 44C, when I should be wearing a 42E--when the gal who was sizing me helped me into the proper sized bra, I tell you the ANGELS SANG! I had to buy at least two bras to get myself started (not cheap), and when I go back to the specialist in February, I'll buy several more.

We then walked about 20 blocks to grab a bite to eat at Burger Heaven (I needed to drown my sorrows, post-specialist visit, with a burger-induced FoodGasm. Once we hit the 70s, I started chanting "Burger Heaven" over and over again--I lost track of where it was, thinking it was in the 80s-70s, NOT the 60s. My heel spurs are in agonizing pain at the moment as a result. But the burger was worth it. After our meal, we took a cab back to GCT, so we could take our respective trains home.

Not the best day in NYC, not the worst, but made considerably better because my gf was there to distract me from dwelling on the doctor's visit.

T-Minus 12 Hours

Until I see the specialist.

Mood: Less-than-enthused.

Wishing I Were Numb

Still processing... he called me a... "Fuck."

Is it *ever* appropriate for a husband to call his wife a "fuck?"

For the first time in my marriage I called him what I thought of him at that moment, "You fucking asshole."

Q: If the tears are still able to come after my "alleged loved one" calls me a "fuck," does that indicate that I am not completely dead inside?

And yet he gets indignant about how I don't want to exist anymore.

A Week Before Specialist Visit--Doesn't Bode Well

That whole line of bullshit I was fed about topamax helping me to dump off a shitload of weight was just that... bullshit.

I hopped on my scale yesterday and didn't see a marked decrease in my gravitational pull.

All the sluggishness and fatigue I've felt, both mentally and physically have been for nothing...

However, I must admit I haven't had a debilitating migraine in months.

PS: Aunt Flow is coming due for a visit. Splendid! Better get compliant with my lexapro before the emotions get out of whack!

Tired of Being Tired

Tired of being tired.

Which is to say, I'm also tired of being "compliant."

I feel so un-refreshed, it's amazing I can function. Amazing how the brainstem continues plodding along, functioning when the rest of me feels like giving up physically.

It's not so much depression talking. I walk around feeling so fatigued, like something inside me is knotted up and blocked, preventing a flow of energy, I suppose oxygen. I feel like I am slowly choking, and alternately having the marrow in my bones slowly slurped out with a Crazy Straw.

No amount of sleep nor caffeine is changing this.

Last night and the night before, I cut back my topamax from 50 to 25, just to see if there will be a change. I'm not taking this for seizures, but for migraines, so I don't see the harm. The neuro wanted to try and cut me back last month, and I held out, thinking I haven't even started really benefitting from the "appetite suppression" aspect of it, so I figured I'd hold out a little while longer to see if I can dump off any more weight--since the ReproEndo guy wanted me on this for that exact reason, not for my migraines, even though that is why I went to the neuro in the first place.

My migraines were debilitating. I was losing not just a day or two of work a month due to them; I was losing a day or two of my life each month as a result. Being overweight might be debilitating in the long run, but not on this very tangible level.

So last night I rolled up a heating pad and stuck it in the nape of my neck, right where my "bulge" of my herniation is. I've spent far too much time doing transcription work and too much time farting around online. The heat took effect immediately. That "knot" I mentioned above shifted a littled.

So this morning I woke up in not-so-much-of-a-haze as I normally do, and spent the time it takes the husband to shower, tractioning my neck on my foam wedge for that purpose.

The result of all this?

My right eye isn't drooping like it was, and I feel like I am on the path back to the "Land of the Living," or some facsimile thereof.

I think.

But it wouldn't be the first time my judgement has sucked hairy hobo taint.