Oh yeah. Today I stumbled upon the little nugget of information (from viewing several WLS journeys on YouTube) that the possibility exists that post-op, I might not be able to twist my torso (as a result of pain from the surgery) to wipe my own ass.
My husband and I have been arguing for the last hour over the possibility/hypothetical post-op ass wiping.
Yeah. Laughable, but my reality is isn't. He's it for a support system. And I don't want to run the risk that the nursing staff could care less.
Talk about putting the cart before the horse.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A HIPA Type Question
15 months after dad passed, and now I'm wondering if I call his cardiologist, if the cardiologist will tell me if the assortment of things wrong with him, his heart, and his mitral valve were congenital or not?
I know one of my vena cavas (I believe my inferior) is in the "wrong direction," from what I've been lead to believe due to a renal doppler I had back in 2000, that little anomaly turned up. Is it related to the mitral valve defect dad had (of which his mom's sister also has)?
ETA:
So I called and left a message for his cardiologist to call me. He might return call tomorrow. Now let's wait and see if the office calls my mother first, and then SWEET HOLY HANNAH ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE: "Why did you call?" "Why haven' t you called me back?" "I'm so lonely." WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH. I just want information, leave me the fuck alone!
PS:
2/1/10
Dad's former cardiologist called me back finally. Turns out the valve problems were the result of his heart being weakened by the several heart attacks he had (grand total, 3-4?), which were the result of 20+ years of smoking. After the first heart attack dad became Type II diabetic due to the cardiac meds, and that in turn further weakened his heart.
Summation: Dad's heart problems were not congenital, and not related to my inferior vena cava being in the wrong position.
I know one of my vena cavas (I believe my inferior) is in the "wrong direction," from what I've been lead to believe due to a renal doppler I had back in 2000, that little anomaly turned up. Is it related to the mitral valve defect dad had (of which his mom's sister also has)?
ETA:
So I called and left a message for his cardiologist to call me. He might return call tomorrow. Now let's wait and see if the office calls my mother first, and then SWEET HOLY HANNAH ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE: "Why did you call?" "Why haven' t you called me back?" "I'm so lonely." WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH. I just want information, leave me the fuck alone!
PS:
2/1/10
Dad's former cardiologist called me back finally. Turns out the valve problems were the result of his heart being weakened by the several heart attacks he had (grand total, 3-4?), which were the result of 20+ years of smoking. After the first heart attack dad became Type II diabetic due to the cardiac meds, and that in turn further weakened his heart.
Summation: Dad's heart problems were not congenital, and not related to my inferior vena cava being in the wrong position.
Not Sure How Much Value I Should Put Into This
I was hoping it would give me some insights into the how or why I am (I feel, IMHO) an emotionally reactive person.
(Edited link)
(Edited link)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
[Insert name here]Cunt123
Yes. I am using the name (of the coordinator who is supposed to field harassment complaints in our office) + Cunt + 123 as my network password.
In front of others, she referred to someone elsewhere as "Fat Frank." How original! How mature! How CLEVER! And yet, because Frank is a fatty, and because Frank isn't there to defend himself and his fatness to this cunt, no one said ONE word about it. Of course "Fat" was being used negatively and with judgment, not merely as a descriptor. And we all know fatness is the last acceptable bias.
Yeah, I can only imagine what she thinks of me. (It's all about me, don'tchaknow.)
I found the whole thing fucking distasteful.
People suck.
In front of others, she referred to someone elsewhere as "Fat Frank." How original! How mature! How CLEVER! And yet, because Frank is a fatty, and because Frank isn't there to defend himself and his fatness to this cunt, no one said ONE word about it. Of course "Fat" was being used negatively and with judgment, not merely as a descriptor. And we all know fatness is the last acceptable bias.
Yeah, I can only imagine what she thinks of me. (It's all about me, don'tchaknow.)
I found the whole thing fucking distasteful.
People suck.
It's the depression talking
I hope that the surgery leads to significant weight loss, whereby my hormones even themselves out.
And if not, I hope that if there are to be any life-threatening complications they happen while I am under general anesthesia and never wake up. There are worse things than death, namely a painful, pointless death. A black hole of inertia and nothingness doesn't scare me. I can't continue living my life as a total failure.
Heaven and hell are both within reach in this reality. I don't need a parallel universe with some Omnipotent being, of whom, I will never be who I am expected to be.
I'm such a poser. I want to die.
And if not, I hope that if there are to be any life-threatening complications they happen while I am under general anesthesia and never wake up. There are worse things than death, namely a painful, pointless death. A black hole of inertia and nothingness doesn't scare me. I can't continue living my life as a total failure.
Heaven and hell are both within reach in this reality. I don't need a parallel universe with some Omnipotent being, of whom, I will never be who I am expected to be.
I'm such a poser. I want to die.
A Psychotherapy DON'T
Whatever you do, even in the lightest of context, DO NOT work into your therapy session how on one occasion, after a Sunday dinner at the parents' house no less, after quoting "Welcome to the first room in hell," from the Dark Brothers classic porno, "The Devil in Miss Jones," DO NOT... I REPEAT... DO NOT tell your therapist that you, your mother and brother all sat huddled around the glowing t.v. watching the aforementioned porn flick.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Mind Eff
Just a note to myself:
Why am I writing my appointment times down incorrectly in my day planner?
Why am I writing my appointment times down incorrectly in my day planner?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
1/18 Endo Follow-Up
Not sure why there were no bloods for this visit. I don't go to see the bariatric surgeon for my consult until 2/9.
Appointment was anti-climactic without something to compare previous visit to current, though blood pressure was a strong 120/70 thereabouts, given I rushed to get there, I thought it would be higher.
Upping dose of Riomet.
Nothing else to report.
Appointment was anti-climactic without something to compare previous visit to current, though blood pressure was a strong 120/70 thereabouts, given I rushed to get there, I thought it would be higher.
Upping dose of Riomet.
Nothing else to report.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
The Brilliance of Stupid Remarks
Upon hearing I managed NOT to lose weight but "did not gain either" this holiday season, the husband's reply was "Well it's not like you could possibly gain MORE." WUT?
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