Dear Uterus

What the ACTUAL fuck? Seriously. 25-almost-26 days? Can't me and my panties catch a break? Hell week is nearly here? I cycle in and out of this agonizing pain, and mess, and I'm losing between 12-24 days annually due to this, plus innumerable days of just recoiling from the horror show.

Here we go again. 

Vodka tonic, ahoy!

Giving the Status Quo a Kick in the Pants

So yes. I suck. I cancelled tonight's physical therapy session, though I have every intention of going to next week's. Sadly that appointment is not with my preferred physical therapist. Oh well. I needed more time go actually do my home work and apply myself. I've been tired and starting to slip a bit into depressed mode. So I need a bit more time to work on a few of the exercises, so when I have my next appointment, my slacking won't be so evident. At least I cancelled it yesterday and won't be hit with a $100 cancellation fee.

So one bad thing I did yesterday (cancel PT) is off-set by one good thing I did yesterday.

I got a message from a friend, "Quick, send me your resume. They're hiring admins at my job." Brilliant, no? :) Well I made a couple minor tweaks to my resume, and quickly zapped it off with the warning, "Hey, it's a three page antique. I haven't gotten around to having a professional resume writer have at it yet." That aside, within the hour, I got this message back:

“So just an FYI, they LOVE your resume! You will probably get a call in a week or so from a guy named Lee who will let you know a little more about the specific position and to ask if you'd like to come in for an interview.”

Looks promising, doesn't it? 

I do not know if this is my coping mechanism, by protecting myself, I talk myself out of HOPE. But I know the reality is, given the economy, they no doubt will not afford to hire me at my current rate of pay.  And that, at a minimum is what keeps me from hoping that it will self-manifest and blossom into the ideal job opportunity.

I am nothing, if not an unconventional person. And while, yes, I *am* hoping that Lee will call me, I am also hoping to have the audacity and opportunity to take the bull by the balls and invite Lee out for a lunch date, where we can discuss both abstracts, of what the job itself entails, as well as what direction I hope my life and career will take in the next (at current writing) 4 years, 2 months, and 27 days.  

Spoiler alert: I'd love more money, but will take a lateral move, salary wise if it means a shorter work week and opportunity for career growth. And of course, I'd want to become part of a team. I figure what's not to like about lunch, we both have to eat, and I'd gladly pay to discuss things, so then at the end of the "interview," neither of us feels like the time was wasted, because at a minimum our bellies were filled. And hopefully my suggestion of a lunch date might be either something memorable (for them) or something ultimately worthwhile (for me), and might actually work to my advantage.  I have found in the past that when I cared entirely too much about a particular outcome, I cannot contain my disappointment when a less than desired outcome happens. At this juncture, while I do CARE to a degree about changing jobs, I am a bit ambivalent about the outcome. Rather than worry if I will fit THEIR expectations, I worry if they will fit MINE.

Working Towards A New Normal

After last visit with the endocrinologist, he insisted I step down my calcium and perhaps change the formulation from the citrate to TCP. My norm was 1500-2000 mg cal citrate daily. Now I'm taking 1000 mg TCP. 

I might need to adjust other things (such as decreasing or eliminating my daily Colace) as a result, to keep things middle-of-the-road manageable. I don't want to go from one extreme (constipation/impaction) to the other (sudden onset liquefied shame). 

But so far, so good. I think.

The goal is to have me on the lowest amount of supplementation as necessary, as there's drawbacks to too much calcium (kidney stones, thyroid irregularities, bowel issues).

Riddle Me This

How or why is it...

I can consume 1-2 of these a day...

And eat a lunch like this... (in Paris) with 1-2 dinners nearly FULLY immersed in creamy Perogourdine type sauces, and still manage a TWO POUND WEIGHT LOSS? 

Baffles the mind! Note to self: Of the ten pounds gained while on Cymbalta, I am now 3 pounds away from my pre-Cymbalta weight! :) It's taken a while to shed it, but very glad.

And on another note, both post-vacation doctors visits (one with endocrinologist,

the other with the kidney doctor), all my numbers seem good-to-great.

Blood pressure is normalized for me (roughly 140/80), the proteinuria hasn't

relapsed, and my calcium levels are so good the endocrinologist wants me to

try dosing down from 1200 mg daily to 800.  

Pain is still kicking my ass. To be blunt, it was the perfect storm of combined

pain issues: headaches, migraines, knee pain, IT band pain, sciatica, adenomyosis, plus a bonus slight sprain in my ankle. No real relief in sight, other than the occasional, 

judicious vodka tonic. 

And the pesky-ness in my throat which I thought was related to my 

thyroid nodules? Nope. The prevailing suspicion is that it's reflux. Doc gets halfway

into telling me blah blah blah, and I said, "... and I took an omprezole, and VOILA. Gone."