Monday I go back to the specialist.Been struggling with my depression and motivational issues.
Haven't been on any type of "diet."
Been laxe at times about my evening medications (regret this in the a.m., with the pounding headaches).
Don't know if it's the depression/blues talking, but I wonder if my lack of motivation, actual RESENTMENT about the notion of diet and exercise, is an indication that I simply do not have THAT strong of a drive to become pregnant. I'm very l'aissez-faire about it. "If it happens, it happens." What a cop out I've been feeding myself, no?
I need to schedule a sleep study. I hope getting what I suspect is apnea, diagnosed and treated (with CPAP), hopefully will help.
It's hard to be motivated to do ANYTHING. Bathe. Get dressed. Get out and do SOMETHING. When you do not wake up refreshed and renewed in the morning.
Fortunately, I have a job, and that's the excuse I convinced myself of, that is the impetus for me to get up, bathe, dress myself, and get out and do SOMETHING, to interact with others (even on a minimal level). The weekends however, are a crap shoot.
I am my own worst enemy.
Days like this, I feel like such a loser.
Doesn't matter what else I've accomplished prior to today. I feel like such a loser.
1 comment:
I know those days.
I have trouble with weight loss. I think I'm still getting used to the idea that I'm worthy of eating food--losing weight feels like a punishment. When I can love myself into eating right, it'll come off.
I have a friend at work who uses a cpap machine.
Do you know that just because you feel bad, it doesn't mean you are bad? I hope you know it on some level where it can help you plod on.
Good luck.
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