Not Much to Report

Not much to report. Haven't lost or gained. No complaints. Well, no complaints save for two:

1. While BCBS paid for my surgery, which I estimate cost close to what? $80K? They do not cover the post-operative follow up visits w/my surgeon, despite the fact he's in-network. ($100 a visit); and

2. I'm beginning to get weary of dealing with the Quest lab near me. I hate blood work, which I need to get done every 3 months for my endo, which I usually piggy back with blood work for my surgeon (which I've been doing for 2 years thus far) and suddenly Quest's idiots cannot seem to realize that despite the fact I have two Rxs from two different docs, who request SOME of the same stuff (i.e. cbc, lipids, etc), the doofuses at Quest cannot seem to process that. I recently got a bill for nearly $500 as I was being billed TWICE for the labs for ONE trip to the lab. Apparently there's an issue because neither doc CC's the other and the lab for whatever reason, cannot do that. The wait. The inconvenience of dealing with new technicians drawing my blood, etc. And of course, now, the NP at my surgeon's office (who, granted, is going thru some family stuff w/her mom) has been slipping w/following up about getting me the necessary Rx for my bloodwork. I've been sick with this year's creeping crud and haven't been to the lab yet for my draw, and all things considered, I've had to jockey the appointment to next month and hoping for the best. But really, this follow up isn't really doing much for me personally. Plus? It's a huge pain in the ass to get to the surgeon's office, as there's no direct route via mass transit to get there, and parking is EXHORBITANT. I refuse to pay $30+ in an all day lot for an appointment that lasts less than an hour.

I'm still "compliant" with my eating (no eating and drinking at the same time, eating several times a day, top heavy with protein, no carbonated drinks--tho for new year's I did have some fizzy champagne drinks). Not compliant w/exercise. Too tired and listless and uninspired to get more active. But I walk and take stairs, so I'm not a total slug.

Feeling kind of depressed the last two weeks, perhaps it's the drain the creeping crud has had on me. Perhaps it's SAD. I don't know. I'm compliant with all my vitamins. 

Given I see my endocrinologist every three months RELIGIOUSLY, I don't see much benefit (other than monitoring my compliance) in going to the surgeon's office for follow ups. It's not like it's a "support" or I feel like I get any benefit other than "Oh hey, you're doing good. You haven't regained."  I don't belong to official support groups (too much whining or too much "know it all" from assholes). Just do my own thing w/the information given.

December saw the passing of my grandfather (not especially emotionally invested in him as a person, so it's not like I'm depressed from that--though death IS a downer). December also saw us thru yet another drive-by-drama-ing involving mom and her shitty health and her inability to take care of herself, and expecting us to somehow DO for her what she refuses to do for herself. January saw the sudden passing of a dear friend from years ago. And meanwhile, halfway around the world, my mother-in-law is tending to her mother, who in all likelihood will pass away before spring thaw.

All this on the heels of a trip to South and Central America, which wasn't ideal given my husband had taken ill on the ship. So it's not like there's been a moment since mid-November where homeostasis has been experienced. Burdensome and tedious. But I suppose that's what life is.  I just feel so unsettled with this feeling of dread or anxiety or pensiveness. I've even been having little flutter like palpitations (perhaps anxiety related?), nothing serious, and I breathe myself thru them. But still, it's there. Whatever it is. Lurking beneath the surface. So I focus on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and I'm doing damned good according to that, so there's THAT going for me, right?

Tonight is knit night, I hope, so there's at least joy in the comraderie I have with the two ladies I meet with regularly. Tomorrow is a chiropractic appointment. Friday is my 8:45 a.m. therapy session. So I guess I better give myself a sublingual blast of B12 and focus on something interesting today.