My bio-rhythms are all messed up. I no sooner get up and do things, and want to curl back up in a ball and escape to sleep.
Stress and depression I am sure are motivating it. I'm a bit non-compliant with my lexapro... though even if I am taking it as prescribed, I have problems, intense problems getting out of bed.
Futility with my own weight, my health, and dealing with my grief over dad's passing. I'm still in shock and sad over it and missing him intensely. On top of this, I now have the reputation within my family of being a flake, as when I promise to visit (which involves a 2.5 hour drive, one-way, to get there) only for me to bail out at the last moment... it's all just so toxic. My visits are fraught with frustration. I live a quiet life in comparison to the loud chaos of my visits. Don't want to rehash everything all over again, but I'm just tired of it all.
I don't even have the energy to delve into it today. Today, Memorial Day, is gorgeous. And all I want to do is sleep.
At least I got showered.
That's my accomplishment today.
