7-10 lb Uptick

So, about the Cymbalta...

I have been taking about a half dose each day for the last almost two weeks, and I'm still seeing no real merit to staying on it. No diminishment of my pain, I'm still pretty blunted and ambivalent to the point of not wanting to do anything, bathroom habits are a bit better than they've been (though, still nothing to write home about), and I've noticed roughly a 7-10 lbs uptick in weight and an increase in appetite.

Today I've decided to forego my dose, and perhaps tomorrow take a dose with even more pellets knocked out of the capsule, to finish tapering off. 

If I weren't depressed and anxious enough, the thought of stalling and sabotaging my weight loss is enough to make me downright despondent.

In two days, I see a physiatrist, and I'm hoping that will help turn things around, mentally and physically.

I hope.... famous last words.

Cymbalta: The Weaning Off

So far, one hour past my usual dose time. So far, so good.

Cymbalta: Day 9

It's not helping my pain, and it's blunted my anxiety to the point where I'm ambivalent to the point where I don't want to do anything, even things I enjoy. So while my pain and depression were limiting me, now the ambivalence is limiting me. Plus constipation (this is on top of the baseline of bathroom issues due to the bypass).

I can't tell. Is there merit in continuing to take it? I'm too ambivalent to tell. Perhaps that should tell me something right there, but still... ambivalent.

I am nauseated a good lot of my work day, and feel FULL (even when I'm hungry). Weird. Should I stop it? Should I wait until I see my neuro at the end of the month of March? IDK what to do, honestly.

Called the neuro, and he's on vacation until March 10th. My appt is March 25th. I can't go nearly a full month without stopping this.

Going to start weaning myself off it tomorrow. Going to step down dosing every other day, and just hope for the best. Going to take melatonin to help me sleep, get into better sleep hygeine as I do this, and hope for the best.

I'm convinced there is no medication that is going to help me, my pain, my anxiety. Convinced.

Cymbalta: Day 8

Perhaps it would have been useful for me to know up front, prior to taking the first dose, that Cymbalta would have constipating effects. Knowing I have had bathroom issues for three years since my gastric bypass, this would have been useful information.

So instead of having general anxiety and depression, I now have ambivalence (which just exacerbates my ennui) and a perpetual case of performance anxiety in the bathroom. Anxiety when I don't go, thinking I'm surely going to have an impaction issue eventually. Anxiety that since I'm not having (shall we say) "productive" activity, it will equate to an uptick in weight. And just a general sense of unwell "down there." 

Is it worth it? I mean. I'm not crippled by it. There *is* some activity each day (though Saturday was worrisome, as my poop was MIA). But it's not "satisfying." 

My colon is already "loaded for bear" each day (Colace, fiber, probiotics, magnesium supplements, hot coffee galore, and on Saturday it was all that PLUS Miralax--and still nothing). I'm adding prune juice to the mix, thinking I need to up the ante as it were. And of course, trying to keep myself adequately hydrated.

A normal person doesn't think about their poop this much. Do they?

Cymbalta:: Day 7

Cymbalta, day 7: 
Blunted. Ambivalent. Like so ambivalent I just sneezed so hard I had an eruption down below. Not sure which form of matter was involved. Is it time to go home yet? I need a nap.

Cymbalta: Day Four

Really no complaints, thus far.

Took my fourth dose this a.m., and so far I'm managing well enough, I think!

Positive observations:  

• It's blunted my anxiety considerably. Not sure if I'm any less depressed as a result. Color me: AMBIVALENT.
• Additionally, it's blunted my interest or passion for food. Everything tastes fine enough, though I do have a horrid after taste in my mouth. No excessive dry mouth either as I've experienced with other, similar meds. I'm just disinterested in it. I notice I'm not eating everything I pack for work, either.
• Also worth noting, I'm sleeping pretty soundly. To my knowledge, I'm experiencing neither night terrors nor sleep walking. 
• Weird note: Onset for menses was Tuesday, same day I started Cymbalta. Usually days 1-2 are heaviest,with about 4-5 days of it tapering off. Seems that it's tapered off in half the time. But then again, with the adenomyosis, I might burst a little pocket of whatever-it-is, and spot a few days from now--but such is life with this disorder:(

Negative observations:

• I feel I'm running a little on the warm side (I'm almost always too cold);
• I experience nausea within an hour of dosing and usually it lasts about 2-3 hours;
• I have a weird numb/tingle/twitchy thing happening, occasionally, from my knee to my ankle in the evenings.
• I don't notice any change in the overall pain issues: herniation in neck, diminished disk space/pinched nerve in low back, arthritis, adenomyosis, etc. 

Cymbalta: Day Three

Still muddling through. Still nauseated, though it is most intense about an hour after ingesting the capsule and lasts roughly 2-3 hours.

Sleeping pretty soundly, which is nice, and a rarity. Husband hasn't complained of my snoring, so who knows if he's sleeping sounder than I am. 

Later in the day I get a slight headache, though that could be from hunger, though I have noticed my hunger sensations have abated somewhat. My eating is "off," and I'm a bit indifferent to food.

Only negative thing I can say so far is this weird chill type tingle that runs down my right leg on the outside lateral, from the knee to the ankle. Not painful, it's just a very weird sensation. 

Beyond that, and the fact that it's done zilch for my adenomyosis or herniation pain, nothing else to report. Though, to be honest, it has blunted my anxiety a lot (which also might be feeding into the ability to get some sound sleep).

Stay tuned.

Cymbalta: Day Two

Took my second dose today. Still feel that foggy-headedness, and later on, the nausea presents itself. I'd say roughly 1-2 hours after taking it, the nausea kicks in.

I can't seem to locate my Zofran, which is possibly in my travel gear pain kit; so I've been sipping Coca Cola Zero to stave off the waves of unpleasantness. So far, I haven't heaved at work. SCORE.

Observations thus far:

1. It's curbed my interest in food. I don't know if I'm truly not hungry or if the nausea makes me indifferent to food or what, but I'm just "meh" about food right about now. 

2. I was starting to nod off a wee bit in front of the tube last night, so I got up around 11 to turn the lights out and head to bed. Before bed, I did manage to pop a melatonin (3 mg.) though I don't know if I should do that given the Cymbalta. I'll have to get a ruling on that. I just wanted to ensure I went to bed and stayed asleep. Which I did. And given the husband is away on business and not here to be my human alarm clock, when the alarm went off, I woke up, hit snooze, woke up and hit snooze, and woke up finally with no problem or any additional grogginess. 

3. While walking out to the car, and looking at all the snow that abounds, and I have been miserably depressed being indoors (I think I'm finally suffering from SAD from all this indoor nonsense), I actually said to myself, "Well, I guess this beats the alternative" (with the "alternative" I suppose being death).

I did have a chiropractic adjustment last night, and ate pretty light when I got home (I had crackers and cheese while I waited for my steak to cook, and once it was done cooking, I was indifferent to it). I slept pretty good. I think. Though without the husband here I have no knowledge if I woke up, if so, how many times, or if I had a night terror.

My adenomyosis pain is pretty sharp. Onset day was yesterday, and everything from my navel to my knees was nothing but a bundle of angry nerves. Can't tell if the Cymbalta is helping that at all. But the anxiety and anger and hostility seems a bit diminished today. Though, how much diminished? I don't know. I feel like the edge is blunted. Somewhat.

The chiro knows about the nonsense going on in Jersey with my family, and especially the negativity and the expectation that somehow I should be there more, despite the obviousness of snow storm after snow storm, and now with my assorted pain issues. Even the chiropractor said it's actually not helping my own pain issues. Again, obvious. But nice to get validation from someone else that insulating myself as much as I can from what I can is the only response I have at this point.

Cymbalta: Day One

Interesting choice of words in that warning.

"Fear?" Really?

FWIW, I'm taking this Rx for pretty much everything else listed,

save for the "fear."